Bates-Gould Funeral Home

Service and Ceremony

Planning a meaningful funeral for a loved one is a ritual that almost all of us will encounter at some point in our lives. As you consider the various aspects of a funeral where burial is the final disposition, there are several elements that you can and will need to select in order to create a touching tribute for your loved one. These things will also provide comfort to those who are living as you pay your final respects.

When burial is chosen, the graveside ceremony is the final opportunity to say goodbye. Accompanying a body to its final resting place and saying a few last words brings a necessary feeling of closure to the funeral process. Families are often deeply touched by this ceremony, and its memory resonates for years. A meaningful committal service not only helps us acknowledge the reality and finality of the death, it also symbolizes the separation that the death has created. It is an essential ingredient of a meaningful funeral experience.

A direct burial is when there is no funeral service, but instead simply final disposition of the body by the funeral home.

A word from Dr. Alan Wolfelt

If you are considering direct burial, I plead with you to reconsider. Honoring the life and death of the person who died with some sort of ceremony - no matter how brief, how small or how informal - will help your family acknowledge the reality of the death and begin to heal. When no ceremony is held, it is as if the life and death of the person who died had no significance to anyone. Also keep in mind that you may still hold a committal service at the gravesite should you choose direct burial.

Think carefully about the many options available to you and your family. Slow down and plan. It is through planning that a meaningful funeral experience is created. And do remember that funeral directors, clergy, celebrants and close friends who have done these things before can all be valuable resources to you. You are not alone!

Burial Products and Personalization

The casket typically becomes the visual and emotional focal point of the funeral service, and just as important, serves as the final resting place for your loved one. The casket you choose can be more than just a burial vessel - it can become a touching reminder of all that made your loved one special. When selecting a casket, the first decision is typically the casket material - wood or metal.

The casket material chosen is often selected because it reflects the personality of your loved one. Wood is traditionally valued for its warmth and natural beauty, while metal is treasured for its strength, durability and elegance. Various factors impact the value of the finished product, including the species of wood or type of metal. Additional considerations include the design of the casket such as shape, color, interior fabric and hardware. Each of these can make a statement about the beloved individual, as can the features that allow you to create personal tributes to your loved one. These choices affect the overall appearance of the casket, as well as its value.

Specially designed features are available with many caskets today, and serve as another visual way to create an impactful and emotional expression during the service. There are numerous features and flexible ways to personalize a casket that reflect the personality and interests of your loved one. One such feature incorporates artistic designs that can pay tribute to an individual's life of service, passions and interests. These designs can be attached to the corners of many different types of caskets. Another unique feature available on select caskets is a special drawer where you can display cherished mementos during the service and place private farewell messages that can then remain in the casket with your loved one at their final resting place.

Several unique panel designs for the lid of the casket are also available, and each one offers its own dignified approach to serve as a special place and focal point for families to recall a life story and highlight the personal facets that made their loved one special. There are select caskets with panels that allow you to display artistically crafted medallions that can serve as a visual eulogy, allowing you to highlight the most meaningful roles and relationships of your loved one's life.

Some caskets include a pleated panel that enables you to display cherished photos and personal mementos near your loved one. Insertable panels are also available that include embroidered designs with tributes focused on relationships, service, passions and interests. In some cases, you can design or customize your own embroidered panel if standard offerings do not deliver that final personal touch. Some of the same embroidery designs can also be applied to other casket interiors, such as the casket overthrow or pillow.

Many of the designs and features used with the casket can also serve as personal memorial keepsakes, such as the medallions or corner designs. In order to allow healing to begin, it's important to accept that the everyday relationship with the loved one has moved from physical reality to memory. Many people find it helpful to have tangible reminders of their loved one, including items and symbols that relate to the final celebration of life. Keepsakes of various types, such as medallions, can also be engraved with the loved one's name and dates, or special designs that create even more meaningful and touching remembrances for current and future generations.

Ask your funeral director for more information on what is available to help personalize and encourage remembrance during the funeral of your loved one. They can guide you through the selection process and help you make informed choices.

Designed to hold a lock of hair, flower petals, earth from the gravesite or a small portion of cremated remains, keepsake jewelry is a unique way to hold a loved one close with a fashionable and lasting remembrance.

Burial vaults are lined units that enclose the casket when it is placed at the gravesite and are designed to prevent the weight of soil and heavy equipment from damaging the casket. There are no laws that require the use of outer containers, but cemeteries often require their use, as it reduces the chance that soil over the grave will settle and helps with general gravesite maintenance and appearance.

Burial vaults are available in a variety of materials including metal, concrete and composite materials.

Unlined outer burial containers, or grave liners, are usually constructed of wood or concrete and may improve the appearance of the grave. These products provide a barrier that keeps soil and debris away from the casket during the closing of the grave. Some grave liners also provide structural protection from the weight of soil and heavy equipment. As these products are unlined, they provide no protection to the casket from soil and/or water making their way past the outer container unit.

Metal vaults are available in a variety of materials, including bronze, copper, stainless steel, galvanized and aluminum. These two-piece enclosures offer protection from the weight of soil and cemetery equipment, as well as keep the elements away from the casket. Some metal vaults feature beautiful ornamental details and can be personalized to honor your loved one.

Concrete vaults are outer closures that provide structural protection from the weight of soil and heavy equipment and offer additional protection from soil reaching the casket. Concrete vaults are available in many styles including undecorated concrete finishes, metal wrapped tops and interiors, and simulated wood grain or natural stone finishes. Concrete vaults can typically weigh more than 2,000 pounds and can require additional costs for transport and placement.

Burial vaults constructed of non-porous polyethylene and polypropylene material provide the benefits of being lightweight, impact-resistant and water-resistant. Polymer vaults can be constructed in multiple layers for added strength and durability. Their ease of handling also reduces cemetery labor costs and the need for heavy equipment during transportation and gravesite placement. Vault styles are available that can be personalized to help honor your loved one.

Batesville's Living Memorial® Program is a unique and special way to honor the memory of a loved one. When you select a Batesville® burial product or an Options® cremation product, arrangements are made for a tree seedling to be planted as a living tribute - at no additional cost to you.

Seedlings are planted in national forests in cooperation with the U.S. Forest Service, The Canadian Forestry Association, The Grand River Conservation Foundation, and other international organizations to re-establish woodlands destroyed by forest fires, blight and other natural disasters. You will receive a special letter that verifies a tree has been planted where the need is greatest.

Cemetery Space, Monuments and Grave Markers

Perhaps your family already owns a cemetery plot where the person who has died will be buried. If not, maybe you've noticed a nice local cemetery. Your funeral director will know which cemeteries are nearby and can help you purchase cemetery plots appropriate for your needs.

Traditionally, families have chosen to bury their loved ones in a cemetery. Entombment, which is the placement of the casketed body in an above-ground structure called a mausoleum, also takes place at a cemetery. When a casket is entombed, it is placed in an enclosure (called a crypt), and the front is usually sealed and faced with either marble or granite.

Many families choose burial or entombment at a nearby cemetery because it allows them to visit the gravesite as often as they like. This helps them continue to feel close to the person who died, while still acknowledging the death.

Because so many aspects should be considered when purchasing a cemetery plot, you may want to consider discussing the options in advance. Questions you may want to consider include:

• Does the plot meet my religious requirements?
• Are there any restrictions I need to consider based on the type of monument or burial vault?
• Does the plot include perpetual care and maintenance?
• Are plots available in the same location to provide for burial of the entire family?

Also called headstones, grave markers are used in cemeteries to memorialize and identify the gravesite of the person who has died. You may want to personalize the grave marker by including a poem, a drawing or a short phrase that defines the person who died.

Monuments and grave markers are available in a variety of materials, including natural stone, concrete and bronze. Styles can range from very simple to ornate, as single markers or companion monuments.

Sharing Memories

When someone we love dies, we often feel the need to share their story and the story of our loss with family, friends and our extended communities. A recent trend has been to memorialize loved ones by creating a website that honors their memory and mourns the loss.

The website can be created to house online video tributes and even guestbook memories collected at the funeral from family and friends. Some funeral homes offer this as a service, or you may be technologically savvy enough to build your own. Your imagination is your only limit to sharing memories and honoring your loved one.

Friends and relatives often share memories, stories, photos and condolences in guest books, both at the funeral and on the funeral home's website. At the funeral, invite people to write down a memory of the person who died. Ask children if they would like to write a letter or draw a picture for the person. Their “goodbyes” can then be saved for the keepsake book or even placed in the casket alongside the body. Many funeral homes offer keepsake book publishing services that collect and document these important memories.

A video tribute is a unique way to personalize a memorial service - giving you and your family the opportunity to pause and reflect on the life of the person you knew and love. These touching montages can consist of music, photos, memorabilia, or newspaper articles that take viewers through the life of the person who has died.

Your video tribute can be played during the funeral service, during a visitation, or at any other time you and your funeral service professional decide upon. Many funeral homes can also post your video tribute to their website so that others can view it at any time. Tributes can also be made into DVDs or saved electronically for your family to keep. Your funeral home may offer this service or can recommend a local vendor who specializes in this area.

What Happens During Cremation

Cremation is another form of disposition or handling a body after death. However, many people don't know what happens during cremation.

Cremation takes place in a carefully maintained facility known as a crematory or crematorium. The funeral home may or may not have its own crematory on site, but your funeral director can take care of all arrangements either way.

Within the crematory is a special cremation chamber. The body is placed in a cremation container or casket and positioned inside the cremation chamber. Once the container or casket is in the cremation chamber, the door is tightly sealed. The operator then turns on gas jets, which create intense heat that reduces the body to bone fragments. This process takes approximately 2-3 hours.

After the cremation, the remains are collected and processed to the consistency of sand or a finer ash. The white or grayish remains, often called cremated remains at this stage, are then sealed in a transparent plastic bag along with an identification tag. The bag weighs about 5 lbs. and will often be returned to the family in a selected urn, which can then be buried, placed in a niche inside a columbarium, taken home or transported for scattering. Additionally, the cremated remains can be separated and placed into multiple urns, keepsakes or even jewelry specifically designed as a final resting place.

Cremation is a respectful, dignified process chosen by many families. However, some faiths discourage or prohibit cremation. If you plan to hold a religious funeral ceremony or have the remains buried in a church cemetery, check in advance to make sure there are no issues.

Service and Ceremony

This journey marks a new beginning; now is the most important time to come together and recount the fond memories that tell the story of your loved one. A variety of choices are available to create a loving memorial, bringing together family and friends for a final goodbye. Meaningful ceremonies with personalized memorials can be as unique as the loved one being remembered

When choosing cremation, the ceremony is a way to inform the community of a loved one's passing, tell their story and celebrate their life. A ceremony is most meaningful when it reflects your loved one's relationships, interests, and the moments you shared. Memorializing your loved one when choosing cremation may include one or any combination of the following options.

Friends and family gather for a tribute prior to cremation, often with the decedent present, which draws support and allows family and friends to say goodbye.

This gathering of friends and family following cremation often features the memorial urn as the ceremony's centerpiece and allows family and friends to recall memories and support one another.

A small gathering and informal family farewell takes place in a private setting and offers the chance to say goodbye, allowing family and friends to recall memories and support one another.

A direct cremation is when there is no funeral service or memorial service, but instead simply final disposition of the body by the funeral home or memorial society.

A word from Dr. Alan Wolfelt

If you are considering direct cremation, I plead with you to reconsider. Honoring the life and death of the person who died with some sort of ceremony - no matter how brief, how small or how informal - will help your family acknowledge the reality of the death and begin to heal. When no ceremony is held, it is as if the life and death of the person who died had no significance to anyone. Also keep in mind that you may still hold a committal service at the gravesite or crematory should you choose direct cremation.

Think carefully about the many options available to you and your family. Slow down and plan. It is through planning that a meaningful funeral experience is created. And do remember that funeral directors, clergy, celebrants and close friends who have done these things before can all be valuable resources to you. You are not alone!

Cremation Caskets and Containers

The selection of a cremation casket is just as important as the selection of the ceremony and will complement the tribute designed for the one being remembered. Before cremation, during the ceremony, and at the time of cremation, the casket or container is the resting place that gives dignity to your loved one. It may also be where you will see your loved one for the last time.

Cremation caskets are made of wood and available in a wide variety of styles that are suitable for services with a visitation, viewing or a gathering held prior to the cremation. The warmth, beauty and personality wood brings to fine furniture is well suited for the construction of caskets. Depending on your selection, cremation caskets can be personalized to fit your needs with accessories like custom tribute panels or custom embroidered interiors.

In recent years, casket manufacturers have addressed the need for larger-sized caskets. Available in many of the same materials, colors, finishes and designs as in traditional-sized caskets, oversize caskets offer a more comfortable fit for your loved one when required.

Cremation containers are made from both composite and solid wood components and are fully combustible. These are most appropriate when a private viewing has been scheduled.

Memorial Urns

The urn or personalized memorial will become the final resting place for your loved one. The selection of the urn typically complements the final placement, whether buried in a cemetery, placed in a niche, or placed as a treasured touchstone in the home or garden. It can also become an ideal medium to facilitate ceremonial scattering. The urn or personal memorial you select will provide dignity, respect and a lasting tribute.

Urns are available in a wide variety of styles and materials. What's right for you will depend on your choice of final placement as well as personal tastes.

Urn Vaults

The urn or personalized memorial will become the final resting place for your loved one. The selection of the urn typically complements the final placement, whether buried in a cemetery, placed in a niche, or placed as a treasured touchstone in the home or garden. It can also become an ideal medium to facilitate ceremonial scattering. The urn or personal memorial you select will provide dignity, respect and a lasting tribute.

Urn vaults are lined units that enclose the urn when it is placed at the gravesite. They are designed to prevent the weight of soil and heavy equipment from damaging the urn and environmental protection. There are no laws that require the use of urn vaults, but cemeteries often require their use as they prevent the grave from settling and help with general gravesite maintenance and appearance.

Urn vaults are available in a variety of materials, including cultured granite, metal, concrete and composite materials or a combination of materials. Urn vault options also include a large selection of interiors, including smooth or textured finishes as well as fabric choices. Urn vault styles are available that can be personalized to help honor your loved one.

Sharing Memories

When someone we love dies, we often feel the need to share their story and the story of our loss with family, friends and our extended communities. A recent trend has been to memorialize loved ones by creating a website that honors their memory and mourns the loss.

The website can be created to house online video tributes and even guestbook memories collected at the funeral from family and friends. Some funeral homes offer this as a service, or you may be technologically savvy enough to build your own. Your imagination is your only limit to sharing memories and honoring your loved one.

Friends and relatives often share memories, stories, photos and condolences in guest books, both at the funeral and on the funeral home's website. At the funeral, invite people to write down a memory of the person who died. Ask children if they would like to write a letter or draw a picture for the person. Their “goodbyes” can then be saved for the keepsake book or even placed in the casket alongside the body. Many funeral homes offer keepsake book publishing services that collect and document these important memories.

A video tribute is a unique way to personalize a memorial service - giving you and your family the opportunity to pause and reflect on the life of the person you knew and love. These touching montages can consist of music, photos, memorabilia, or newspaper articles that take viewers through the life of the person who has died.

Your video tribute can be played during the funeral service, during a visitation, or at any other time you and your funeral service professional decide upon. Many funeral homes can also post your video tribute to their website so that others can view it at any time. Tributes can also be made into DVDs or saved electronically for your family to keep. Your funeral home may offer this service or can recommend a local vendor who specializes in this area.

Keepsakes & Remembrance Jewelry

Keepsake urns are smaller versions of full size urns and are manufactured to hold a small portion of cremated remains, a lock of hair or ceremonial flowers. Keepsake urns allow you to share your loved one's cremated remains with family and close friends.

Designed to hold a small portion of cremated remains, a lock of hair, flower petals, or earth from the gravesite, keepsake jewelry is a unique and elegant way to hold a loved one close with a fashionable and lasting remembrance. Available in men's and women's styles, consider selecting a matching piece for family members or friends to share a special and lasting bond.

Living Memorial

Batesville's Living Memorial® Program is a unique and special way to honor the memory of a loved one. When you select a Batesville® burial product or an Options® cremation product, arrangements are made for a tree seedling to be planted as a living tribute - at no additional cost to you.

Seedlings are planted in national forests in cooperation with the U.S. Forest Service, The Canadian Forestry Association, The Grand River Conservation Foundation, and other international organizations to re-establish woodlands destroyed by forest fires, blight and other natural disasters. You will receive a special letter that verifies a tree has been planted where the need is greatest.